| I wanted to then visit Dwarakamai, the
place where Sai lived. When I reached there, seeing the long queue I decided to
first visit the Chavadi *(Baba used to sleep here every alternate day). After the
Chavadi darshan I came to Dwarakamai and looked around in awe, for this was where
Sai, walked, Sai talked, Sai healed and Sai lived. The fire he lit then, is still
kept burning. It is from here that one gets the Sai prasad of 'Udhi' (miraculous
ash). I sat in the centre of Dwarakamai, with eyes closed. I began reveling in his
presence.
Not satisfied, I wanted more.... I wanted to see Him, I wanted to know why he had
called me to Shirdi, I wanted to know that he was there for me, to protect me, to
take me on a Spiritual journey. I prayed. I prayed asking Him to bless me with his
presence, to appear before me just as He is, in a way that I could recognize him. My
heart cried in pain for the desire to see Him and be assured that He was with me
guiding me through.
After some time in meditation I left Dwarakamai. Next morning too I got a VIP pass
for the morning aarti and went in to see Him. It was followed by a visit to the
Chavadi and Dwarakamai many times during the day. Meditating here was a truly
enriching experience. With the shlokas and the mantras in the background and the
devotees singing along, it was as if I had found the missing link in my life.
Happy that my trip to Shirdi was fruitful, I went to bed that night. When I woke up
the next morning, it dawned on me that my visit was not fruitful after all. I had
two darshans in the VIP slot and felt what was the point in visiting Shirdi, if I
could not stand in the normal queue like most others, chant the Sai nama and then
get his darshan? So, I decided to stand in the queue, knowing fully well that the
queue would take atleast 3 hours to clear and that I had to take the bus at 12 noon
the same day. After about 3 hours I finally got the darshan and the feeling cannot
be described. As I was nearing the pedestal where He sat with all glory, I saw
devotees asking the priests for flowers.
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I then saw a Fakir just ahead of me standing with
his bag (jholi) outstretched for offerings. |
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The flowers and garlands blessed by Sai, where being put
into a corner by the priests for the devotees to collect. Determined to get my
share, I moved on to collect a garland. As I bent down, to take the garland, I
noticed that there was just one garland left in the basket. I happily grabbed the
garland and suddenly from nowhere an old lady bent and frail (I had not seen her in
queue) reached out for the same. Seeing her reach out to the same garland I handed
over the garland to her. Just as I placed the garland in her hand, a big, nice and
fresh garland came flying and fell on my shoulders. I felt His power and grace that
very minute. My heart was filled with the assurance that He was with me.
Contented and filled with Sai's grace, I went to visit the Chavadi and Dwarakamai.
There was a huge crowd but that did not deter me. As the crowd moved on I looked
around savouring the walls, which Sai would have touched.
I then saw a Fakir just ahead of me standing with his bag (jholi) outstretched for
offerings. I took out my offering and gave it in his hand. He signaled to drop it
into his bag. As I dropped the offering into his bag and looked at him, his aged
body began shaking deliriously. He lifted his hand and blessed me exactly the same
way that I had seen Baba bless people. Just then, like a flash of lightening I
realized that in the last two days , I had not seen any fakir inside Dwarakamai.
Only then did I remember my cries to Him and my request to see him in a form that I
could recognize. That instant I turned back to look and lo behold, He was not there.
I knew it was Him. I had seen Him, I had seen Baba!
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